Dear Delores,

I'm leaving town for a few days soon. Don't worry, I will be coming back for you this time. There will be a strange man coming into my room to give you food and water. He has been warned about your general demeanor, but please, I beg of you, be gentle with him. I cannot afford to pay off any more hospital bills. Just at the very least, don't aim the the eyes. If you comply with my wishes, you may or may not be getting a cat nip stogie for christmas.

Sincerely,
Kendra